What They Don't Tell You

In high school, do you remember when the teenage mom came in and gave the talk? You know, the "It's so expensive to have kids," "I have to work two jobs," "I'm all alone... haven't been on a date in years" etc., etc. etc. (fill in dozens of more depressing comments here). Here's what she didn't say:

"Having to share your baby with someone you hate, makes you hate yourself, your baby and your life sometimes."

When my daughter was 8 months old, I started dating someone amazing. And I stopped begging her biological father to visit her. My heart would ache when I would think about her growing up without a man in her life. Having a hard ass, loving, controlling man as a father is a right of passage for women everywhere. I bought the book "Why Don't I Have a Daddy?" and cried diligently throughout my pregnancy after my boyfriend of five years and I broke up.

Then something happened, my previously uninterested ex, changed his mind, and despite having moved out of state to live with his new girlfriend, he sued for custody. My fiance and I were devastated. We had been raising my daughter together. He was daddy and I was mommy. All of a sudden, there was someone new trying to be called daddy.

This was two years ago. And it hasn't gotten easier. The roller coaster of feelings have drug me into a miserable depression. I question everything I do as a mother. Could this be used against me in court one day? Am I doing this right? Am I being followed? As if parenting an almost-three year old isn't hard enough, I have the parent police constantly looking over my shoulder.

My parents taught me to be analytical. Every problem has a solution. For me, for my problem, for the problem my husband and I face every Thursday and one weekend a month, there is no solution. This blog is dedicated to all the moms out there, the single moms, the divorced moms, all moms, who share their kids every week, every month and every year with someone they hate.